Testing…one, two, three.
Well…well fuck, I mean; I just don’t know what to say. I’m very glad to be here with you tonight, I’ll be able to talk to you about some things…that I know a great deal about. Everyone knows that you are fucked up. And everyone knows that I am fucked up. But, does everyone know that you are more fucked up than me? Well, I know that. And you know that. But our purpose is to tell everyone that.
Take for instance, the time you went to the bathroom, to take a shower. You had soap, you had a towel, shampoo, washcloth, a brush, everything was set. But you had to call me to come turn on the water for you. You didn’t know where or how. That is one instance of how fucked up you are.
A second instance of how fucked up your are: You was going to cook you some breakfast. Well you went in there, and put some toast in the toaster, put a skillet on the stove, put some grease in it. You got you some eggs out, some bacon. Poured you some orange juice and make you some coffee. Got some jelly and some butter. Fried eggs, salt, pepper, got some bacon on the grill. Everything was fine - except for one thing. You had to call me in there…to show you how to use a fork.
Now a third instance: the way you’re fucked up. You got dressed, ready to go to school. Everything was fine - got outside, got in your car. Key in the ignition. Except for one thing. You had to call me to come show you.